you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
