she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
