go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Life is so much better after having sex.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
