Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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