is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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