i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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