i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
