how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
