what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
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the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
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They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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