it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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