Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
