I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
