Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
