Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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