I wish I could punch you in the face.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My vagina is very pro this idea
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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