i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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