I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
