Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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