I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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