Only a mothe r could love this liver
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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