Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize