what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
