just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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