So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
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I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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