can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
