those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
