Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
