i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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