So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
