the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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