There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
