Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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