omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
