Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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