Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
