Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
