last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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