I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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