So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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