OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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