: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm really busy with my period
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