I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm just crazy horny about you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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