Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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