In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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