someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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