we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
