I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
