do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
