I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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