Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
