yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
