So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
if only i could text you this smell
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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