Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
