You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
