apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Randomize
