Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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