party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
