Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
