from now on my penis is your penis
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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