I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
