when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
