As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
