and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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