I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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