Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
