So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
