I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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