Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
