At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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