So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
A+ Viking dick
that may or may not have been my penis.
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