Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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