I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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