She's JV to your varsity
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
